Jan. 27th - It's been awhile.

Sorry. I know it's been awhile since I posted anything on this blog about mom. Not much has really changed. I guess can be good or bad depending on how you want to look at it.

She finally got over all that crap at Christmas and is back to eating "good" if you want to call it that. I still don't think she eats enough, but I know it's also tough to eat when you just don't feel hungry. (Oh, I just realized, I forgot to blog about that. We ended up taking mom to the ER on December 30th I believe. She had gotten dehydrated. She got to the point where she could keep anything in her stomach and had diarrhea really bad. They ended up giving her fluids and sending her back home.)

Mom will be going for the third set of chemo in this series/round (hey it's late) on Thursday. Then the following week she will go for another CT Scan and follow that up the next day with a doctor's appointment. We'll just keep praying that things are going the right direction. Last scan showed some improvement. Let's pray the same happens next week.

Good news is, it's almost February. Mom should finally start getting her disability checks and the back pay for the last 6 months. I know they really need it. It's been tight around there and they are blessed enough to have insurance. I can't imagine what people without insurance do. We are also blessed in that it's been 6 months now since her diagnosis. Alot of people out there with Lung Cancer don't make it that long.

Roger seems to be holding up well, but I know deep down inside he's dying too. I can see it in his face every time I'm over there. You wanna see true love. Look at him and how he takes care of my mother. I just hope he realizes how much I love him too. The Lord blessed me and was watching out for us when he put Roger in our lives.

Little Roger has been great too. That gives me great peace of mind knowing that as soon as he gets off work, he goes over and checks on mom. When he's going to town, he always asks if she needs anything. I'm so proud of him. He's come a long way.

Devin doesn't really say too much. He went over there last weekend and stayed so Darin and I could go to Indy to the woodworking expo. He always has and always will be Papaw's buddy, but he's still pretty close to mom too and I know that it tears him up inside. More so when he's around her.

Myself, well......it's just another day. I hate being so far away from her. I know 30 miles isn't that far, but when gas is $3.00/gal, it might as well be 100 miles. I do call her everyday on my way home from work though. I know she probably thinks I'm crazy, but I need that. I need that connection....to hear her voice, because I know one day, it's not going to be there.

Sometimes I feel like I'm sinking further into my own depression by just avoiding everything I can. My house is a mess, but I just don't have the motivation to clean. Financially I'm a mess. Heck...my whole life is a mess right now. I just don't know how to get it all back together anymore. I think another reason I don't like to sit here and blog about it, well.....right now I'm sitting here crying. When I get to thinking about the cancer, it just kills me. I'm sorry to go on about myself. I know that's not who you came to read about.

Please just continue to keep us in your prayers, but most of all.....Keep mom at the top above us. Don't forget Uncle Fred too. As soon as we find something out next week, I'll be sure to get on here and blog. We love you. Please keep in touch. If you need our phone numbers...please contact me through here and I'll get back to you. Lots of Hugs and Kisses........ Tammi