Monday, August 13, 2007

Aug. 13 - The Weekend.......

Mom seemed to be doing well over the weekend. I think most of the anxiety right now is not knowing..... Not knowing how severe the cancer really is or is not. She seemed in better spirits yesterday when I went to pick up Devin. She is able to eat more than just chicken noodle soup too, which is good.

I can't understand what mom is going through physically, but I sure wish I could get her motivated to try and do something besides sit at home. She claims to be tired all the time and that even just a trip to Bloomington wears her out, but she's has always been "tired" and that has never stopped her from working or going places. I'm just afraid that she will give up all too easy.

I know we are all pretty torn up, mentally that is. I can't begin to know what is running through mom's mind, but I know myself...well, I feel lost when I talk about it. If I could take her place, I would in a heartbeat. I have made myself this promise though....I WILL NOT CRY in front of Mom anymore. I only cried in front of her the first day, but we all were in tears. She doesn't need to worry about me. She needs to concentrate on herself.

Roger is just as bad if not worse shape mentally than I am. This is a man who would do anything for anyone. One of THE nicest, if not THE nicest people on the face of the earth that you will ever meet. I really never knew though, just HOW MUCH they truly loved each other until this happened. (September 2008 will be 25 years for them. How awesome is that.) Roger has been through so much the last six months. Grandpa Kennedy passing, crap going on at home with one of his daughters, and now this! When I went home Thursday after the diagnosis, he commented, "What did I do to deserve this?" No one like Roger deserves anything like this to happen to them. I just pray that God's plan is bigger and better than any of us can even fathom right now.

Well, we really probably won't know much until Mom's appointment with the oncologist on Friday. I am going to take off work and meet them there. I feel it's just best if I'm there to hear everything for myself and to support Mom & Roger. If I hear anything between now and then, I'll be sure to post it here. Until then, I probably won't post much, but please feel free to email me if you want to.

Thank you all for your well wishes, Love and support. We really appreciate it and now more than ever, need it. Please be sure to pray just as much for Roger as you do for Mom. Much Love to everyone......

Tammi

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

You will all be in my thoughts and prayers. Please take care and call if you need me. Your mom is a tough lady and if this can be beaten, she will do it!! Love ya all!

Stacey

Anonymous said...

We will be praying for Aunt Judy and Roger. I have put them on our prayer list at church. Always remember that His way is not our way. HE knows what HE is doing at all times. Just trust in His love and HE will continue to hold you close. Kate

Anonymous said...

PLEASE tell Aunt Judy how much I love her, and you and Devin and Roger too. She has always been like a mom to me. She is the best! My favorite aunt!! When mom told me, I didn't know what to say or think. I really just didn't want to believe it. I do pray for her and all of you every night. God's way sometimes is the hard way and really difficult to understand. If God brings you to it, he will bring you through it. In difficult moments, we seek him, and in painful moments, we need to trust him. Again, please tell Aunt Judy I love her and I don't know what I can do, but I will do whatever she wants or needs, and I will continue to pray for her every single day...throughout the day when I am thinking of her. Love you all so much. Carrie (Lumpy Lynn)

Songs for Mom